Last week, Disney had its D23 expo, a massive conference showcasing all of their fantastic productions in the works, like Toy Story 4, Gigantic, and Captain America: Civil War, and Pirates of the Caribbean 5. Basically, Disney everything for the Disney lover (looking at you, Mommy Elf!).
But what has the Token Elf all excited is all the Star Wars announcements that came out of D23, and the next few years are going to be Star Wars heaven!!! Looks like the Elves will be giving a lot of money to Disney, and here is why:
-The announcements of multiplayer modes for Star Wars Battlefront (nine in total!). For those non-gamer moms and dads, Star Wars Battlefront is the latest game title that allows you to partake in some of the most famous battles in the Star Wars universe. And at D23, the trailer for Fighter Squadron was shown, meaning you can pilot some the greatest ships in the galaxy. This mode, as well as Supremacy and Dropzone, will make Battlefront the reason I might neglect my family for weeks at a time. HAHA, just kidding! Days at a time. Disney already got my cash on this one as I preordered my copy. Battle of Jakku, here I come!
-Disney released the first official movie poster for Star Wars episode VII: The Force Awakens, and it looks epic. Drew Struzan, the artist who painted the posters for the Star Wars Special Edition trilogy as well as the prequel trilogy, drew this one up with characters Rey (played by Daisy Ridley), Han Solo (Harrison Ford), Kylo Ren (a masked Adam Driver), and a lightsaber wielding Finn (John Boyega). It just gives you that wonderful feeling that Star Wars will be here soon. December 18th is going to be a good day. Here Disney, have some money. No, I insist.
-A production shot of Star Wars: Rouge One was shown and, man, I can-not-wait! The first of a line of “Anthology” films, this tells the story of a group of rebels tasked with stealing the plans to the first Death Star. It’s supposed to be dark, gritty, morally confusing, and just plain awesome. But we got to wait another year for that. In related news, Colin Trevorrow, the excellent director of Jurassic World and Safety Not Guaranteed, will direct Star Wars Episode IX. Dopes. Disney, do you have lay-a-way?
-A Darth Vader inspired Playstation 4. That comes with four classic Star Wars titles. ‘Nuff said. Here Sony, take this money and make sure Disney gets it. Ok? Thanks a bunch.
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-A muthatruckin’ Star Wars land at the muthatruckin’ Disney theme parks! It’s about muthatrukin’ time!!!! Disney showed off concept art for likely settings in the new Star Wars themed parts of both Disneyland and Disney World. It is planned to be 14 acres of pure Star Wars immersion, with a the Millennium Falcon docked in one of the spaceports, and using the latest in virtual reality technology, Disney Imagineers are creating possible pick your own adventures. There will be a Tatooine type cantina, aliens, characters, props of all kinds, and joy. Lots and lots of joy. They will be enhancing Star Tours once again, and in the spring of 2016, opening Hyperspace Mountain, a thrill ride replacing the magnificent but aging Space Mountain. Using projection and lighting effects, the roller coaster will put you right in the middle of a massive ship battle. Should I make this check out to Walt Disney directly? How do you spell “cryogenically frozen”…?
Well, now that Disney is the sole heir of my will and testament, I am going to get ready for every ounce of Star Wars that gets dripped along the way. Star Wars moms and dads know what I’m talking about. And the Token Elf will be keeping his ear to the ground for any new rumblings about the movies, games, TV shows, theme parks, and anything else from a galaxy far, far away. Until next time, May the force be with you.
